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Pando Papantoniou

My name is Christian Papantoniou (Pando). I'm forty-five. By nature and, other things, an academic, mostly self taught, I have an MA and BA, and am still thinking of going further. I am, I hope, a recovering, avoidant-personality disorder sufferer (see Good Will Hunting to see how cool us avoidants can be) -- there are various reasons for my disorder. Traumatic events at various schools, going to various countries early in my life (never able to create roots), having to spend time just learning the new language, isolated at an early age due to my intellectual tendencies (I read just about anything at three). I feel I may finally be coming out of this, but it has proved a massive bugbear. For my writing this is a problem. My social experience is minimal, my sexual experience is zilch. My range of emotions, drives, qualities, tendencies -- hence the ones I can describe and into my characters -- is minimal. My positive impulses that is, my negative ones are really feeling their oats, I assure you. For a time, Lovecraft was my literary icon, I still consider him one of the giants of modern horror, his futilism suited me to a T. I seem to have out grown him, but still cannot fully accept a more positive concept in my writing.

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