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First Flights: a virtual chapbook of poetry and prose

The Dream

Emkyu
[ingrid2d@yahoo.com]

Another romantic love story made in heaven? Just like the old fairy tales that she used to read when she was too young to decipher the meaning of the overly exploited four-letters word called love, stories which brought her endless smiles, false hope and desperation? She's smarter now. She had realized long ago that Snow White, Cinderella, and other literary characters were just an element of fiction tales of which the common denominator demonstrates a fair lady waiting to be swept off her feet by her prince charming. Literary works which were products of some writers' wild imaginations who, like most of the hopeless romantic minds, probably seeking to justify what a love story should be and how it should end.

           Ironic, but despite this crystal clear realization, the majority of the Earth's population still cling to such flight-of-the-imagination stories which effortlessly blur a fraction of the mind's ability to distinguish the distinct difference between reality and fantasy. Why? She had asked that question a million times and had visualized a million answers in return, which varied from time to time depending on the mood and the scenario that prompted her to ask that nagging question. Almost always, however, the answers were attributed to two things: 1. the impulse of humans to emotionally extricate themselves from the pain of reality; 2. the need to satiate the inner desire to fill the void, seemingly at the center of every psyche.

           How many souls, she wondered, have spent their entire existence uncovering that divine iota of completeness, yet, rested without having patched up the emptiness in their life? Would she be an addition to that burgeoning number?

           Years of searching and waiting for the realization of that dream have taught her to extend her sight beyond the realms of fantasy, and eventually acknowledge the existence of the world where normal people dwell. She tried to co-exist and breathe the life they live, and did so satisfactorily -- except on certain occasions -- like in the middle of the night or during rainy days when her dreamer-self took control of her whole being.

           Like now. She roamed her searching eyes and instantly noticed the enchanting transformation of her surroundings. The rain always has a magical effect on every single thing it touches and based on her observation, last night's downpour had washed out even the tiniest particle of dirt that had been stuck in the most hidden section of the earth for ages, giving the morning a fresh and clean atmosphere. Oh how she loved the rain; it was always capable of stirring all the contrasting emotions buried within her, emotions that were better kept hidden in order to effectively survive in a complex world.

           She knew and understood that life in the real world was sacrifices, suffering, conflicts, and issues. Fortunately though, the solutions lay just within the problems, unlike in the fairyland where answers to problems mostly relied on fate. So she embraced reality, smothered her dreamer-self and ignored the emptiness within her.

           Until he came. In a moment when she was most vulnerable and susceptible with unwanted emotions, such as depression and frustrations. He said things, which even she longed to hear, though she'd rather were left unsaid. She knew then that all she had to do was ignore the man and let him state all his futile dreams. She did the opposite instead. She encouraged him to share his dreams and resurrected her own dreams until their dreams merged together and mingled like hungry lovers.

           "Do you believe in soulmates?" she asked.

           "Yes. I think you are my soulmate," he replied.

           She smiled. No doubt another dreamer, she thought, who had yet realized that soulmate was just an empty word.

           "You said things which convinced me that you are the one. We really connect. It's amazing," he said.

           So what if they follow each other's train of thoughts? Hadn't it happened before? There were guys in the past she thought were her soulmate in their respective times but she was wrong. There was no such thing as soulmate in the real world.

           "We have to meet," she heard him saying, "I have to look into your eyes and see the truth....and if it's there, I would like to feel the softness of your lips, explore and taste every part of you and I shall give all I have to giveuntil we are both lost in love and lust"

           Stop! She silently begged, but her mind was soaring with wonder of what it's like to be with someone who understand the need of your body and can nourish your mind and soul as well. She sighed, shut her eyes tight, and controlled the direction of her thoughts. No. This was just an effect of the rain -- the rain that was able to cleanse the earth but not her muddled brain.

           "I could make you feel the magic, if you just let me in." he continued.

           She had been longing to experience the magic that only true love could bring, but then again true love only exist in the kingdom of fairytales.

           If you let me in. Her sane mind wanted to say no. It was foolish for they both lived complicated lives. But if she was honest enough with herself, she would have admitted he had penetrated her system even before he asked for access. She knew he had touched her soul for no matter how hard she denied, her mind kept on wandering to different places where she could be with him. Under the rain. Under the sheets snuggled together while counting scattered stars on a cloudless night. On a beach walking hand in hand. In the heart of a prairie, dancing with the wind during summer days. She sighed again -- which seemed now a habit. In her dreams he made her feel complete, but would she feel the same outside the dimension of the dream?

           "The feeling should be mutual in order for us to realize the dream," he said.

           Maybe she ought to try again. Live another dream. Hope with fingers crossed for another romantic love story made in heaven. Another romantic love story made in heaven? She smiled. Maybe she's not smarter after all.





© 2003 Emkyu, all rights reserved
 appears here by permission

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