Two Poems by Mike Paniccia

[Amachorewriter@aol.com]

My Lesson with Mr. Beethoven

(He was standing with his back towards me, looking out the window.
I took my seat at the piano and waited a few moments, then I asked);
"Would you like me to play something, Sir?"
(I was not sure if he'd heard me.)

"What do you plan to accomplish with these lessons?"
(He said in a loud voice, still looking outside.)

"I'd like to improve my technique, Sir."

(Turning now, and studying me for a moment)
"And what do you see, when you stare at that keyboard?"

"I see keys, Sir, both black and white."

"And how will you produce brilliant tones,
from 'black and white'?"

"Sir?"

"Here, let me help you"
(seizing my hand and placing it on the keyboard).
"There, now what do you see?"

"I see the same keys, Sir, both black and white, but with my own color now added,
which is very nearer to the one key than it is to the other."

"And what of that? Your position along that scale is of little importance.
It's your use of the time that's critical.
Doing something constructive, and not just rambling on like some lunatic.
All right then, a quick review of the basics first, because without them you cannot
progress. First of all, why is it called a pianoforte?"

"Because of the dynamics, Sir."

"And if you strike those keys with force, any of them, what will happen?"

"They will thunder back with equal force, Sir."

"And if you use a delicate touch, what then?"

"They will whisper their acknowledgment."

"And what will occur if you remove your hand,
and just sit idly by and watch?"

"Nothing, Sir."

"Nothig? I'm not sure that that's possible.
Perhaps you can do a little better than that."

"They will remain silent, Sir."

"Why so?"

"Because I've withdrawn from them completely, Sir, and have become indifferent to
them. They will not sing to me until I change my behavior."

"So then, assuming the instrument is properly tuned, it is your own actions,
and nothing else, which will determine the response you get?"

"My own actions, Sir. Nothing else"

"Very well then, we may begin. (Returning to the window.)
I believe that you will make some progress."

(And that is how my first lesson began, with Mr. Beethoven.)

The Lemonade Stand
Brother:		We aren't going to sell even a single glass of this. How long do you want to sit here like a couple of dopes?
Sister:		We'll sell it. Just have a little patience.
Brother:		No one wants it. I could be home watching TV instead. This is awful.
Sister:		It's not awful. It's just early yet.
Brother:		At what point would you consider it awful?
Sister:		This would never be awful. And besides, remember Job? He had some really awful luck, and he made out like a bandit. We'll just sit here until we have to go home, that's all.
Brother:		He got struck by lightning right?
Sister:		You're so stupid! His servants got struck, not him. But he did have some really bad luck. He lost his animals, his servants, his children, even his health for a while.
Brother:		Well, when you have that much bad luck, you just tend to get used to it after a while, that's all.
Sister:		You're so stupid! He lost everything in only a couple minutes.
Brother:		That's impossible!
Sister:		It's true. First, a guy came up to him and gave him some really bad news. Then another guy came up while the first guy was still speaking, and gave him even worse news. Then two more after that. Each one was still speaking when the next guy came up with even worse news.
Brother:		That's not possible.
Sister:		I'm telling you. While each one was still speaking, the next one came up and had even worse news. Like a horrible quartet, each one sounding worse than the last.
Brother:		Damn, that's not funny. That guy had some serious bad luck Then he got eaten by that giant fish.
Sister:		You're so stupid! That was Jonah!
Brother:		Whoever. Those guys had some serious problems. Just being around them would be dangerous.
Sister:		Yeah, but their luck didn't stay that way forever.
Brother:		Well, if our luck stays this way much longer, I'm out of here.
Woman:		Excuse me. Is there any more of that lemonade left?
Sister:		Plenty, Ma'am. (Pours her a glass)
Woman:		It's so hot today. (Fanning herself) Did you make it yourself dear?
Brother:		We sure did, Ma'am. Made by our own little hands. Fresh squeezed this very morning.
Woman:		Isn't that's wonderful. I could use a little something to pick me up.
Brother:		This will do it, Ma'am. (Hands it to her, she takes a sip) And even if your livestock gets vaporized, or you're swallowed by a giant fish, one glass of this stuff, and you won't really care.
Sister:		(Blushing, her face in her hands)
Woman:		I'm sorry, what was that? I'm very hard of hearing.
Sister:		He said, "Thank you very much, Ma'am, and have a great day!" (Smiles)
Woman:		Thank you, Dear, and this is absolutely wonderful. (Smiles and walks off)
Sister:		(Staring at her brother) I really hope you're not planning to be a salesman when you get older.
Brother:		Why not? I just thought of a great marketing idea for our lemonade. We can call it "Job and Jonah's." How's this; "When disaster strikes, don't despair, just reach for a glass of 'Job and Jonah's.'"
Sister:		(Looking at him with amazement) You're so stupid!

Poems © 1999 Michael Paniccia, all rights reserved
 appear here by permission

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