This piece was written as an attempt to express my frustration with my endless quest for perfection in myself, and at times, with life. The first three stanzas are a brutal act of contrition, not from my own actions, but almost as a testimony of attempting self-acceptance, heart and soul, warts and all. The last stanza was written in complete submission, as a proving of embracing who I am and what I stand for, despite the ongoing, inner conflict it brings.

           It was purposely written with short, sharp words as sentences in the first three stanzas, and it was also intentional that the descriptive words begin with "whiteness" and end with "blackening." The use of the word "blackening" reiterates the conflict being described, and the degree to which it still exists. It builds into a crescendo, until, due to conflicting forces, it can only "crash" forward, spilling itself out for all to see, hence the use of "knoll."

           I wrote this piece after my divorce became final, and I feel it sums up very well the conflicting emotions that accompanied this experience.