I Miss Love
La Cuerva
[dogmatix13@hotmail.com]
Can this new one tame the wild horse?
It is what I have become.
I don't think he even tried.
And did I care?
Not then, not yet.
Dormant love
I held it under the nipple of my breast,
shields for the heart and perky playgrounds for lovers lips to rest.
Tristan, his brother he could not save,
And neither can I my love.
Ignorance. Vanity. Past love.
They preyed with fangs and sunk them deep.
Stitches would only smile and weep.
I am calmer now.
The gun fire has stopped
and electric bodied fences stand bloodied and numb.
I poked at love, I played with love, I drunk myself a nasty lout.
Can you love me, I mean, forgive me?
I thought not.
The fire is but a candle and you can snuff it out.
I was crazed, yes, confused and curt
And selfish I am still
because I hope you know I love you,
and the special way you made me feel.
So soft of touch and gentle smiles.
You blow the leaves on Autumn's day
and I care not to brush them away.
I left you with no promises,
no windows to my life.
Am I now at the quiet heart of my life?
It is a silly thing to say.
How long did it last, two weeks? Well, hey!
and now some months apart.
But you touched me,
I wonder how you did it, still,
Vanity fair? I think not.
Kamikaze bomber!
Poem © 2001 Nicky Crowe, all rights reserved
appears here by permission
|
Writing this poem helped me to exorcize a lot of guilt I was
harboring. Guilt about the way I behaved in a relationship with
someone very special. When we met I was still suffering from
a previous breakup and I was very honest to the boy that I still
had strong feelings for my ex and warned him not to get
attached to me. How I regret those words now. By the time I
was over my ex it was too late to salvage the relationship. I
had hidden my true feelings for the boy from myself and from
him. The shock came when I suddenly realized how much I
loved him. I couldn't understand myself. I think I wrote this
poem to say sorry to him, it was me that lost out, not him.
Timing and love are fucked!
|
