Midnight Thoughts
Robynn Baijius
[slakkrgrl@yahoo.com]
Ask me about bitterness and I'll
explain to you my life
I'll tell you about the selfishness
that motivates my loved one
I'll tell you what it's like
to be the one the
drowned holds on to as his
life flashes away and his
lungs fill with water death
I'll tell you how sometimes I
become so sad when I
think about my life so far
that sometimes I find tears
rolling down my cheeks without even
being aware of the intensity
of my emotion
Ask me about compassion and I'll
explain to you how I
build myself up to be a
martyr how I always sacrifice
my needs for the needs of others
I'll tell you what it's like
to be laying awake in
bed at 1am because your mind
is filled with all the
wrong things you said that day
I'll tell you how it feels
to be a doormat better yet
to know you're a doormat and
not have the courage to change that
Let's talk about what it's like
to admire and hate yourself
at the same time
Let's discuss indifference and self-doubt
hidden fears and subtle loathing
Let's talk about truth and let's
talk about what it's like
to live a lie so convincing
that sometimes you yourself aren't
really sure if it's a lie or not
Ask me about my dreams my
pursuit of happiness and you'll
learn they're not complicated
Freedom music love sunshine
smiles and the ocean
I'll tell you of my passions
my music my writing
If you listen closely I'll tell
you what drives me
I'll whisper in your ear that
my future is based on
the mistakes of my mother's past
Ask me about pain disappointment
anger all of them are friends of mine
Ask me about depression and hate
for they are my cousins
But always remember that hope is
my mother vision my father
and passion and drive are my
brother and sister
There is always beauty
to be found
Poem © 2000 Robynn Baijius, all rights reserved
appears here by permission
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